Greetings, world! I apologize for disappearing these past few weeks. Work has been incredibly busy, and I’ve been patiently waiting for my next opportunity to get pregnant. Yes, I actually have been patient this time! After the disappointment of last month, I have been working hard at managing my expectations. I’m now in day 11 of my two week wait, and I’m not over-analyzing every little symptom (well—for the most part), nor have I taken a pregnancy test yet (this time last month, I had taken about five).
Perhaps the hardest part about this wait is that I just don’t know what happened last month. Did my egg get fertilized but not implant? Did my fertilized egg implant but then un-implant (what I understand to be a chemical pregnancy)? Or did nothing happen to my egg at all? I’m experiencing similar symptoms this week to the ones I experienced in my two week wait last month—increased appetite, mood swings, and tender breasts—but since I don’t have a clue what happened last time, I just don’t know what to make of them. Does it mean I might be pregnant, or is it evidence that I’m not?
The good news is that even if I don’t get pregnant this time, I think I’ll be OK. I feel much more zen about the process now; I’m just not in quite as much of a rush. I know that it can take a while to get pregnant, and hey, if nothing happens within six months, I’ll visit my reproductive endocrinologist and we can re-evaluate the situation. (To be honest, I’m lucky that there’s a chance of my being pregnant now at all: I realized at the beginning of this cycle that if I were to ovulate on day 25, the same day I did last cycle, I would be most fertile right when my husband was away on his annual boys’ camping trip. But by some amazing stroke of luck, I ovulated on day 17, when he was still here.)
Of course, I’m still secretly very hopeful. I would be over the roof if a pregnancy test came back positive this weekend. Stay tuned: you’ll be among the first to know. Until then, wish me luck at staying calm.
