If there’s one thing that this Two Week Wait has taught me, it’s that I really need to work on my patience. So many women wait months, if not years, to conceive, and here I am in my very first cycle acting like a two-year-old. But what can I say? I’m excited.
So far, though, no real news. As in, no positive pregnancy tests to report (but many, many negative ones). It’s now two days before my missed period, and despite the disappointing single pink line, it’s been a promising few days: I think I am experiencing some pretty clear pregnancy symptoms. I could, of course, be wrong, but a few things have occurred that make me think I might actually be making a baby.
It started on Wednesday night, when Michael and I were grocery shopping to prepare for our trip to the country on Thursday (which, by the way, was lovely: we took our dog canoeing for the first time!). While we were out, I noticed some twinges that felt like menstrual cramps, but they were mild and I assumed they were digestion-related. Later on, they got more pronounced and much more easily recognizable as cramps; it was seven days past ovulation, so I guessed (or shall I say, hoped) they might be implantation cramps. Then, about a half hour after we went to bed (I couldn’t sleep), I had the strangest experience: I felt strong warmth irradiating from my uterus. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy, but it felt very real. It really felt like something profound was happening in there. I got incredibly emotional and almost woke up my husband. I felt like I was getting pregnant.
The next morning I awoke and the feeling was gone. Immediately, of course, I began doubting myself. I went through the whole day thinking, “You did NOT feel warmth irradiating from your uterus, stupid.” Not to mention the fact that “heat irradiating from abdominal region” is not exactly a recognized early pregnancy symptom. But I also couldn’t shake that feeling of certainty. At the time, I just knew what I was feeling was real.
Thursday went by without any symptoms. Then, Friday afternoon, I noticed that my breasts were tender. I didn’t think too much of it because I knew it could be a PMS symptom, but on Saturday and Sunday they got worse. And now I am certain that this isn’t PMS. If it is, it’s super evil mutant PMS. My boobs are WAY more tender than they ever have been; they literally feel bruised. And that, I am certain, is a pregnancy sign.
Finally, today, I’ve been feeling bouts of nausea. I realize it’s a bit early for morning sickness, and part of me thinks I’m inventing the feeling, but it’s pretty strong. After breakfast I wretched but did not actually throw up; after lunch I felt queasy for a good half hour. I also felt weird after I exercised. Since I never get nauseous (well, except when I’m hungover), I think this could be what I’m hoping it is.
Still, I must await that positive pregnancy test. Until then, I know nothing for sure. After all, pregnancy isn’t the only thing that could be causing these symptoms. My baby-yearning mind could be, too.
Sorry to hear that the pregnancy tests are all negative but it is still early. Usually we don’t ask patients to start with urine HCG testing until about 16 days after ovulation or 2 days after the missed period. I do like your description of feeling pregnant, it does go into the spiritual aspect of pregnancy that I think is overlooked in some instances. Morning sickness can go both ways and I have learned to not say ‘never’ or ‘always’ in medicine so there is no real timing for morning sickness.
To make reference to the mind-body connection in all of this and I have written some papers on this topic with regards to pseudocyesis, which is not what you have by the way. There is nothing wrong with hoping for the best and being excited about the potential. Your body has reached a critical threshold at this point and I believe you have one foot in this world and one in another. Where that other world begins is difficult to say. This is a place where only mothers can go and a place that we have referenced in our new book proposal on Spiritual Pregnancy. If you ever get bored I can send it to you. Maybe once you have that second line on your test.